The Best Way to Predict Your Future is to Create It!

Think about something you would like to do but have been too frightened of to make the first move.. Go on...start thinking now!! Get yourself a piece of paper and a pencil or pop up a blank page from your word processor!

Ok....Have you thought of something?

Ask yourself this...What is it that I am thinking about when I start visualizing myself going through or “working through” the thing that I am scared of?

Here is an example: You want to leave a safe, secure job in order to start your own business. (you can obviously substitute your own situation!) maybe you want

to split from your girlfriend, or have a big operation..Perhaps you want to move to a different country?

This is what to do!! .....Ask yourself this question over and over:

 "What would happen if...THAT happened?" until you get to the bottom of what you're truly afraid of.

This is the point of this exercise--to get to the bottom of what you're really afraid of. You see, the chances are, that what you think you're afraid of isn't actually what you're afraid of.

Q: What would happen if I left my job and started out on my own?

A: I'd stop receiving my regular salary and probably get into debt

Q: And what would happen if that happened?

A: I may not be able to afford to pay my bills. 

Q: And what would happen if that happened?

A: I would have to ask for financial help from family and friends.

Q: And what would happen if that happened?

A: I'd feel like a failure.

Q: And what would happen if that happened?

A: I would feel down for a while, my self esteem would be low!

Q: And what would happen if that happened?

A: I'd eventually pull myself back up

Q: And what would happen if that happened?

A: I'd look for other opportunities. Maybe my new company would bring in income.

Q: And what would happen if that happened?

A: I'd have to get work hard and and step out of my comfort zone.

Q: And what would happen if that happened?

A: My life would change.

Q: And what would happen if that happened?

A: Well...My life would change.

Q: And what would happen if that happened?

A: Well I guess that `s actually what I want to happen.. I want to change my life....and life is changing all the time.

Now....when you've gone down as far as you can and you can no longer think of "what would happen if...?" 

This means you have reached the thing you are genuinely afraid of!

So...... are you really afraid of your true fear?

Most of us are not afraid of our end fear, we're actually afraid of the process we have to go through to get there. 

In the instance of leaving your job, you may in actual fact just be afraid of the feelings you might get if your decision ends up making you feel like a failure and then forces you to work harder and to step out of your comfort zone.

You may find that when really looking at your situation, you find that you are not afraid of what's going to happen in the end. You're actually afraid of everything in between.

However...as soon as you decide that you can handle the process, you will succeed in getting rid of your anxiety, no matter what it is.

Perhaps you`ll come to the conclusion that the process you may have to go through is worth it, because there is the carrot of something more rewarding at the end of the road.

Give this exercise a go for all of the things that make you anxious.

And if you discover that you can handle the process it takes to get there

then you`ve cracked it!!

What's Your Inspirational Word?

What's Your Favourite Inspirational Word?

Mine is CHOICE...

Most of us think that having choices is a positive thing. However some of us can start to get uncomfortable if we feel we have too many choices to choose from, especially if we are afraid that our choice might lead to an unsatisfactory outcome!

However..I believe that it is a wonderful thing to have a choice ..especially in how we perceive and respond to the people and our world around us. 

Actually choices matter a huge amount because there are a very few choices to be made that will determine a great majority of outcomes in our lives.

No matter what situation we are in...we always have a choice..we can choose whether to think positively or negatively about something..we can choose whether to respond in a sensitive or aggressive manner...we can choose to be strong or week...we can choose between staying or leaving..we can choose between giving or taking..talking or listening.....studying or not studying...eating healthily or not ...we can choose who we date or do not date...whether we work hard with integrity or not.....whether we save or don't save...whether we smile at the world or just wish the world would smile at us Aren't we lucky? We get to choose everything!

Making a choice can be scary if it's about a future path but the important thing is to :

1) Look at the choices offered

2)Choose the one you hope will best work you

3)Know that at least by making the choice at all you will ultimately get moving forwards and unstuck. 

4)Always remember that most choices are never final...you can always choose to change at any time!

Choose to make a choice today!

Boost Yourself Up..Learn How Here!!

How often do you pat yourself on the back and tell yourself how wonderful you are?

In my Coaching practice I teach an exercise called Mirror Boosting!

I recommend doing this exercise for a minimum of 21 days in a row without skipping a day as a way of building your self-esteem and your self-confidence. 

A number of years ago I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress. I had heard about using positive affirmations as a way of healing and moving forwards but had never incorporated it into my own life. Well..what a transformation when I started literally talking to myself in the mirror!

The number one benefit I have received from using this Exercise over the past five years is that I have developed a very intimate relationship with myself. 

I now call it 'My Mirror Boost Buck-Up"!!

'Vivien I acknowledge you for saying yes to your wildest dream.' '

"Vivien I am so proud of you for doing the Mirror Exercise for the past five years"

"Vivien I acknowledge you for all your persistence growing your business."

"Vivien I admire the way you accept and flow with all the changes in your life"

'Vivien , I love you.' '

"Vivien  you deserve the very best!'

 (This is just in case my subconscious isn't clear about that because in my head I do truly believe it !)

Now, even when I have a really bad day, I look myself in the mirror and come up with good things to say. 

I look deeply into my eyes, and talk to myself really slowly. Real honesty. I have accomplished so much, so why shouldn't I acknowledge it?

While talking to myself I stand a little taller, feel good and smile. And when I am finished I stand even taller..feel even better and am normally laughing!!

You see before, I used to always acknowledge everyone else....feeling that they were better than me.... Always feeling that they had " got it altogether" far more than me!

Sometimes even now I feel really amazed at all the positive benefits of the Mirror Boost Buck-Up practice. 

I find that I am able to ask others for help more, and I am really getting good at receiving it! I always have had self-confidence and high self-esteem, but now I am much more grounded, present and self-assured. 

All things grow with positivity. 

So are you acknowledging your positives?

Look into your own eyes and acknowlede what you have accomplished whether big or small will have a truly powerful impact. 

The repeated looking into your eyes and saying I love you strengthens the love muscle. I always acknowledge my friends, my family,  my clients, and my children knowing it will make them more successful. 

However practicing the Mirror Exercise has made ME more successful. I now value my own needs as much as I value other people's needs, which has also led to stronger relationships. I now feel able to ask for a lot more and I am much better at receiving. 

If you'd like to learn more about personal development then check out my website at 

Http://createtimeforyourlife.com

18 Tips From A Life Coach

1. 
   
   If you have enough money left over at the end of the month (after saving) then enjoy it...it is never wasted if you use it to have fun...
2. Do you like someone? Then tell them...What have you got to lose?
   
3. Live your life today, because yesterday’s gone, and there may not be a tomorrow..
   
4. Is something not clear? Then ask for an explanation. 
5. Are you feeling lonely? If you want company ...send an invitation. tomorrow. 
   
   
   
6. Avoid arguments when agreement can be reached.
7.  Do you want to be understood...then explain ..calmly!
   
   
   
8. Avoid contact with negative people!
   
9. Never forget your problems are only in your head. Find solutions.
   
10. Try to enjoy even in a tiny way everything that happens to you during your life. 
    
11. Always remember that you won’t have another life...
    
12. Don’t waste too much time time watching TV, or gaming!
13. Remember that you owe no one anything. 
14. Remember that no one owes you anything. 
15. There’s only one person you can rely on in this life — yourself. 
    
16. Always be patient and a little indulgent towards children. 
17. If you’re in a bad mood, think about the fact that when you leave this world, you won’t be in any mood at all. 
    
18. Create Time For Your Life TODAY!! It could be the best day of your life!
19. 

Take the Relaxation Quotes Challenge

Take the "Relaxation Quotes Challenge"

Comment below and let me know how you got on in September! 

1. 1.  Read the quotes below.
2. 
   
3. 2.  Put on your  listening hat. 
4. 
   
5. Which quote:
6. 
   i) most UNSETTLES you  
   ii) most RESONATES with you?
7. 
   
8. Write out these 2 quotes and put them somewhere you'll see them often.
9. 
   
10. Over the next 4 weeks, make an effort to notice the quotes - and each time you do, ask:
11. 
    i) "What is this quote teaching me today/now?"  &
    
    
12. ii) "What WILL I do with this information?"

Here Are Your Relaxation Quotes:

• "Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." Chinese Proverb
• 
  
• "The harder you push yourself, the harder your self pushes back." Anonymous
• 
  
• "Problems arise in that one has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself." Jessye Norman
• 
  
• "The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you've lost it." Anonymous
• 
  
• "Balance is not better time management, but better boundary management. 
• Balance means making choices and enjoying those choices." Betsy Jacobson
• 
  
• "Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony." Thomas Merton 

Remember to comment below and let me know how you got on in September!