Think about something you would like to do but have been too frightened of to make the first move.. Go on...start thinking now!! Get yourself a piece of paper and a pencil or pop up a blank page from your word processor!
Ok....Have you thought of something?
Ask yourself this...What is it that I am thinking about when I start visualizing myself going through or “working through” the thing that I am scared of?
Here is an example: You want to leave a safe, secure job in order to start your own business. (you can obviously substitute your own situation!) maybe you want
to split from your girlfriend, or have a big operation..Perhaps you want to move to a different country?
This is what to do!! .....Ask yourself this question over and over:
"What would happen if...THAT happened?" until you get to the bottom of what you're truly afraid of.
This is the point of this exercise--to get to the bottom of what you're really afraid of. You see, the chances are, that what you think you're afraid of isn't actually what you're afraid of.
Q: What would happen if I left my job and started out on my own?
A: I'd stop receiving my regular salary and probably get into debt
Q: And what would happen if that happened?
A: I may not be able to afford to pay my bills.
Q: And what would happen if that happened?
A: I would have to ask for financial help from family and friends.
Q: And what would happen if that happened?
A: I'd feel like a failure.
Q: And what would happen if that happened?
A: I would feel down for a while, my self esteem would be low!
Q: And what would happen if that happened?
A: I'd eventually pull myself back up
Q: And what would happen if that happened?
A: I'd look for other opportunities. Maybe my new company would bring in income.
Q: And what would happen if that happened?
A: I'd have to get work hard and and step out of my comfort zone.
Q: And what would happen if that happened?
A: My life would change.
Q: And what would happen if that happened?
A: Well...My life would change.
Q: And what would happen if that happened?
A: Well I guess that `s actually what I want to happen.. I want to change my life....and life is changing all the time.
Now....when you've gone down as far as you can and you can no longer think of "what would happen if...?"
This means you have reached the thing you are genuinely afraid of!
So...... are you really afraid of your true fear?
Most of us are not afraid of our end fear, we're actually afraid of the process we have to go through to get there.
In the instance of leaving your job, you may in actual fact just be afraid of the feelings you might get if your decision ends up making you feel like a failure and then forces you to work harder and to step out of your comfort zone.
You may find that when really looking at your situation, you find that you are not afraid of what's going to happen in the end. You're actually afraid of everything in between.
However...as soon as you decide that you can handle the process, you will succeed in getting rid of your anxiety, no matter what it is.
Perhaps you`ll come to the conclusion that the process you may have to go through is worth it, because there is the carrot of something more rewarding at the end of the road.
Give this exercise a go for all of the things that make you anxious.
And if you discover that you can handle the process it takes to get there
then you`ve cracked it!!
