Have You Really Got a Crystal Ball...Or Are You Just Making Assumptions?

If you came to me  feeling down on yourself because you`ve been rejected without a full explanation...be it from a job application, promotion, a relationship, coffee with a friend...the part in the school play, the football team, I `d probably surprise you with this question... “Well, are you psychic?” Because unless you have a crystal  ball, there`s no way you will know the REAL reason you were rejected.

Don`t you agree that we all like to mind-read?; “they think I’m unattractive, annoying, a loser, they don’t like me because I’m too THIS or I’m not enough THAT.” But one thing is common – these are all ASSUMPTIONS. And when it comes to rejection, we usually make assumptions that make us feel worse.

Of course there are ALL sorts of reasons we get rejected or turned down. Maybe we were rejected because someone was tired and wanted to stay home. Or they’re stressed and can’t give us the benefit of the doubt today. Maybe they’re jaded and find our enthusiasm a painful reminder of how they used to be. Maybe they feel threatened by us and prefer the company of someone less challenging for them. Maybe they DON’T find us attractive. Maybe they’re incapable of reading between the lines and/or giving us the job based on our capacity to learn rather than our experience. But whatever it is, it’s all about the OTHER person, what they think and feel. The rejection is never about us.

Remember that time you didn’t hear back from someone, and you thought they didn’t like you or that you’d upset them? Then remember how it turned out they were away, had some family crisis, lost your number or never got your email because their computer crashed?

Sooooo.....when you notice yourself making negative assumptions (also known as mind-reading) when it comes to WHY you were rejected, ask yourself “How do I KNOW that to be true? What PROOF do I have?  Am I Psychic?”

Then if you really INSIST on making assumptions, why not  find a REFRAME and make your assumptions POSITIVE. After all, if you’re going to make assumptions, why NOT make them to your advantage? How about... I got rejected because:

- I am too gorgeous, I am too much fun, I’m over-qualified, I am clearly too helpful for that organization!

Soooo.. Create Time For Your Life Today.....Become aware when you find yourself  making assumptions. Then, if you insist on making assumptions, why not have some fun with them and assume the best?