Yesterday's topic was about How To Create Your Own Nurturing Family. If you haven't read that article, have a browse first of all. We are looking at people in our lives and thinking about who to enrol in our own personal nurturing team! Think about the closest people in your life at the moment..
Ask yourself:
Am I myself around them?
Do I feel they accept me for who I am?
Are they critical or judgemental of me?
Is there an even "give and take"
Do I feel upbeat and energised when I'm with them?
Do we hold the same values and integrity?
Is this person committed to our relationship?
Does this person genuinely celebrate my success?
Do I feel great about myself when I'm around this person?
Remember that you are looking to build your own "nurturing family". You are looking for your own "team" that YOU can turn to in times of need. Friends/family whom you know that you YOURSELF are genuinely wanting to be there for in THEIR times of need.
You should schedule as many chats/visits/outings with members of your "team" as often as you are able..relationships only thrive when they are fertilised often...of course you will have the old old friends that you can turn to occasionally even when you havent seen them in ages. However, sometimes circumstances may have changed so much in both your lives, it can be difficult to give and receive objective views on some matters.
Soo..keep your favourite members but always consider that it is never too late to bring new players onto your team...they don't have to be substitute players..just players who are there to do the right job at the right time!
Types of Relationships that Can Zap Us..
DRAINERS!
COMPLAINERS!
SHAMERS!
DISCOUNTERS!
GOSSIPERS!
We all know them and I am sure most of us have behaved like this ourselves on many occasions..like everything in life...a little in moderation is ok but when you find that someone is CONSTANTLY bringing you down with this type of behaviour then it's time to take a step back and look to your TEAM for inspiration!
Soo.. who should be on your TEAM!!
It's quite simple really...
Look for friends/colleagues and relatives that are:
PROACTIVE
APPRECIATIVE
ATTENTIVE
HONEST
and ACCOUNTABLE
and remember... the players on your "nurturing team" should not be people who you "feel guilty" about if you have not called or rung them up.. you probably know instinctively who they are. If you feel guilty, then they are maybe one of the ones on your SHAMERS list. Talk to them, tell them how you would like the relationship to work..if it turns out they are not on the same wave-length...enjoy the other talents they have when you meet out on the bigger playing fields...
The wonderful thing about "growing-up" whatever age we are, is that everything changes and we need to be able to shape up, keep up and go with the flow..
"a rocking horse keeps moving..but it never actually moves"; and a "merry-go-round horse just keeps going round and round in circles"...
Sooo... make sure YOUR horse is a FINELY TUNED race horse.!!" -stuck in the stalls for a short while but ready to burst out and head towards his goal in a strong, dedicated and focussed manner - whilst avoiding knocking over and trampling on any other jockey in the process..!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment